TV GRIFTER
by MA
Stranger than fiction!
A breathtaking event. A toxic, freak mind calls forth this once-in-a-lifetime spectacle. Come one and all. Are you brave enough? Prepare to be astounded – and disgusted. Mere words cannot describe these sights.
Witness the Big Tacky under the Big Tent. Corey “Morgue” Rebhahn – The Great Pretender! The self-styled internet sensation. The painted, puffy husk without a core. He’s niche-famous! His detractors call him a duplicitous charlatan, but have you ever seen him inflate his own head? Heads weren’t meant to grow like this! See it to believe it. This charlatan truly believes he knows how to entertain. You be the judge! Buy a ticket.
Take note! It’s the Aryan Asshole in the flesh, performing his greatest feats – including “The Great Gape,” “Catatonic Clit-Suck,” and more! Behold the below-average sideshow starlet engorged with delusions of grandeur. Come and see ol’ Balloonhead the Unnatural. The Plasticine Puff Man has a hollow interior and a rapidly expanding head. It’s sick! Will the head finally pop? You’ll never know unless you have a front-row ticket. You’ve seen this clown defy death and human decency. He’s shattered your illusions of respectability and made you ashamed of the human race. And now, here it is at last: The Jester’s Final Judgement. You won’t want to miss this.
Admit all ages! The performer asks that we emphasize that point. If you’re an underage attendee, the Forbidden Freak has special plans for you! What schemes doth his devilish mind conjure? Come and find out! Parents welcome too. There’s something for everyone. All currencies accepted here.
And to end the night – a pulse-pounding finale! Watch Baloonhead walk the high rope, the bridge between absence and presence, without the aid of a net. A dangerous crossing like you’ve never seen! Will his ballooning head cause him to topple and begin the long descent to shadowy doom? Or will the Gilded Hollow Man finally attain what’s always escaped him – the coveted designation of authentic human being? There’s no other show like this, folks! No one gets out alive.
by JAR
In 2016 a group in decline, reeling from the betrayal of a self- appointed, and self important leader, leaps out from the mandarin frying pan, into the influencer fire. In a tragicomedy of farcical proportions never before reached, a familiar tale unfolds of kinks, goths, the FBI, swatting, and the androgyne master race. The sad and curious machinations of a self-styled marketing expert edge-lord named Corey Rebhahn, and his duplicitous appropriation and attempted corruption of a loftiness he can never meet.
“Hegel remarks somewhere that all great world-historic facts and personages appear, so to speak, twice. He forgot to add: the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.”– Karl Marx
How does it come to pass that a moribund, tacky, sideshow performer captures the zeitgeist of a lofty yet small, online movement and threatens to hijack its trajectory? Few could render a complete answer to these questions in all likelihood. For my part, I will attempt to tell the story of a single man’s vantage point. From this, I could only hope to impart whatever general wisdom may be derived thereof.
From late 2013 to early 2014, I began moving away from the online illuminist community, convinced that a clinical narcissist had been running the picture of the online movement, weaving a certain spell over most, on account of his clout or “merit” with the community. Always claiming to be working on the next cutting-edge project that will bring the movement to its next grand horizon. A political manifesto here, a grand academic work that will bring inroads to the Illuminist project in the academy there, a systemic, automated, and infallible merit assessment system based on IQ there. All worked on by a singular mastermind with inches of advancement previewed selectively to members, only suddenly to switch to a new area of focus months later. Rinse, repeat. In the end, this dynamic of running interference and absolute con artistry was a shameless strategy of coming up with creative red herrings to secure psychic supply, position, and oversight over the trajectory of a movement inspired by the loftiest works mankind has ever seen.
Fast forward some years later, when this pretender was thoroughly exposed, and intuitions validated about this wholly mandarin individual. Relief was felt more profoundly than words may easily capture. Even then, my faith regarding the movement was scarce, because most in the movement hardly saw themselves as material leftists. Many presumed they had access to wisdom so full, an analysis so sharp, and a perspective so complete that the world owed them an ear, and that from the comments sections of online spaces, they could issue inspiring battlefield speeches and hot takes that would command the world spirit’s attention – after all if they were being met by the watchful gaze of the owl of Minerva, surely any lowly leftist should take a knee and respect their erudition and genius and take it on good faith that they are amongst them, and that indeed they should lead them! “Why won’t they read my manifesto?”
This level of grandiosity was quite prevalent. On many levels very early in the movement, these were mistakes I too had made, though by the time of this tale I had been woefully unimpressed by the common attitude of most online so-called Illuminists. So I became minorly involved in local socialist movements and worked into the Bernie Sanders campaign because as soon as then-Senator Bernie Sanders announced a first bid for the presidency, I knew this was an opportunity to frontload a nascent class analysis in the popular consciousness. This excited me because this is so thoroughly what Americans lack in politics. Occupy started to rekindle that spirit, but failed to take it very far. Bernie Sanders’ campaign at the time failed it too, but definitely brought it much farther along. And post that in 2016-2017, came the explosive national rebirth of the Democratic Socialists of America – numbering nearly 6,000 members in 2015 to now numbering shy of 100,000 members nationally as of 2022. While the DSA is political terrain that is facing an internal battle for the integrity of its political character – between an ultra-liberal majority, and a class-aware, mass- oriented cadre of serious and committed socialist organizers – it is where the left moves, and shakes in large part, for better or worse.
Around this same time, a friend in the movement had reached out to a friend of theirs to talk about me – speaking well to my political understanding. I spoke to this individual through 2016 and over time they convinced me to consider a new bourgeoning movement that would re- render Illuminism in a more mass-oriented way; that of Hyperianism. I remember being very skeptical, but nevertheless intrigued and hopeful about its potential. I was convinced to get involved, with a specific aim and purpose in mind: to aid this movement in developing a class analysis and to root it in the left and the working class. Seeing the import of this, and taking the lessons of the past with me – both with the wider left, from Iraq War protests, to Occupy, to the phases of the online Illuminist movement – I arrived with a mission that I took quite seriously. I met with members of the Hyperian leadership, got to know them, and ascertained their political depth – thinking carefully about how to compel them. In the end, in my failure, the only person mostly compelled by my views was the person who ferried me into that movement, and one other senior Hyperian at the time. My efforts were in vain, because while overtures were issued, and a few articles were penned allowing criticism of identity politics, this didn’t amount to Hyperianism taking seriously the need to agitate the working class based on disenfranchisement in the workplace, and society. My aim was to secure Hyperianism politically, to embed the movement in existing left movements, to invite the perspective of leftist thinkers, and to respond in good faith to it. Hyperianism even close to the outset paid lip service to decrying capitalism, while celebrating the logic of “social media” predatory capitalism by asserting the Hyperian revolution would be catalyzed through the logic of the power of the influencer. It was always about quantity over quality. Politics was boring, after all, Corey repeatedly asserted. The people don’t care about boring stuff! I tried to explain that boring as many people found politics, it was nevertheless something Hyperians should ground themselves very securely in, because the world still moves to politics, and will for the foreseeable future.
From the beginning, Hyperianism’s liberal commitments were eminently clear in the personages of its leadership. Susan Mitchell was ruthlessly liberal in her outlook – effectively anti-class and ultimately all about pet issues and identity. She was constantly running interference and preventing hard questions from being answered or addressed at every turn on Corey’s behalf.
In the final judgment, Corey Rebhahn’s cult was always about his own self-aggrandizement. It wasn’t interested in advancing a class analysis, it wasn’t about catalyzing normal, working-class people into issues bigger than themselves and advancing class power, making the working class an effective counter-hegemony against the ruling class hegemony. Hyperianism always should have been about the loftiness of Illuminist, and meritocratic ideals, increasing material power for the working class, and the expropriation of the ruling class and the warfare thereof. It should always have been about class solidarity, it should always have been about becoming organizers who know how to talk TO people, not AT people. To impel workers toward thinking about themselves as being in struggle and solidarity with their coworkers. To learn and understand the rank & file labor strategy (https://rfs.dsausa.org/). To become committed fighters for working-class power in and of the left. To wage that fight with the profound Faustian power of Illuminism and ontological mathematics. To compel our brothers and sisters to reason, in struggle, in art, and in solidarity.
When the time comes to theorize, analyze, and criticize theoretical shortcomings on the existing left, and advance a position of a new analysis, wouldn’t we be in a position of actually being listened to in our exhortations for a new world when we make those same exhortations as known and trusted fighters on the left? We’ll be heard out when we bring the ideas of a new working-class world order which best represents the democratic spirit of the people. We’ll be heard out speaking of a people’s meritocracy where the working class is structurally able to advance its position as a self-aware class, organizing its labor, and maximizing its social mobility in an organized and meritorious way – fairly and thoroughly benefiting from its productive capacities. We’ll be heard out speaking of a class aware that, when its productive capacities are socialized, it maximizes the dignity and meaning of the contribution of labor to society. When speaking of a society perpetually reconstituting its wealth with a total, 100% inheritance tax, our words could have a chance to not fall upon deaf ears had we moved within the existing ranks of the left – we could be listened to when we speak of a future where people will be able to master crafts, education, skills, and autonomy as individuals – delivered in the right way the message will not ring hollow, for people will be disposed naturally toward the ends of social benefit and liberation. This is what Hyperianism could absolutely have been all about if it wasn’t helmed by an NPD social parasite, an influencer who’s in a state of arrested development and anima possession.
When, the year after joining, by the end of 2018, I saw much of the writing on the wall, I stopped participating along with a few of my then Hyperian friends, including the individual who got me involved. We all knew back then it wasn’t capable of meeting the loftiness of its initial purpose with Corey Rebhahn and Susan Mitchell at the helm.
Whatever comes next cannot make the mistake of forgetting about normal people. Whatever comes next needs to set itself apart not with tacky edgelord bullshit, or by pissing in the wind with social media screeds, and setting oneself perpetually apart from regular working people, but by making art, and struggling with fellow members of your social class – THE WORKING CLASS – to increase the collective power of working people. Think of the end of the movie Groundhog Day. The character was finally secure in themselves, appreciating their love, their passions, and their fellow man! Being a fucking joy to be around! Not an insufferable pissant Facebook whiner, or influencer! If we work creatively, kindly, humbly, and professionally with other people, meet regularly, collaborate when possible, and be secure in our character and cognizant of our weaknesses, we can create something incredible.
Don’t be above small talk. Let conversations evolve naturally with friends and colleagues, and your fellow citizens. Be as relatable and friendly as possible! We can win people over to new thinking, and we’ll do it with trust, relating to people in struggle, and by bringing new ideas to the table, of which we have a cornered market, so to speak thanks in such overwhelming part to Mike Hockney, David Sinclair, Adam Weishaupt, Joe Dixon, Steve Madison, Jack Tanner, Michael Faust, Dr. Thomas Stark, et al. From the astonishing contributions of the PI in the AC project, we have a near infinite dynamo of inspiration, story, vision, metaphor, image, and art, and it all ties to the truth with a capital “T.” For that, we have a world to win! – In Hoc Signo Vinces